Ok so its time to write your vows… but you have soo many questions or need some guidance!
Some people just sit down and write their vows off the cuff, others like a bit of guidance on how to get started.
Either way, the below is some handy tips and resources I’d love to share with you and your partner to help make this part of your wedding planning relaxed, fun and reflect YOU!
The below are the most common questions I am asked about writing custom vows:
- How long should my vows be? Any length you like, sometimes they are 2 sentences and other times 2 pages (or more); I feel the best is whatever comes natural to you, if you are a person of few words then perfect… that is the best reflection of YOU or alternatively if you love to let the pen flow then 100% do that!
- TIP: Some couples feel like they would at least like their vows to be roughly the same length, so I can be the middle person in that by doing a quick word count once I’ve received them both and advising how similar they are in length to each other
- I’m struggling to write them, can you help? Absolutely, I’m more than happy to help you with getting your thoughts into words… Lets have a chat or you can send me bullet points of what you want to say, I’ll pull it together and send back for you to review/edit!
- What is the best structure? As with the length, there is nothing set in stone but I find the best vow are those that come from the heart and are written in a way that you typically communicate with your partner; a few solemn promises (eg. I vow to always be by your side no matter what) along with a few funny ones (eg. I promise to cook your favorite meal when you have the man flu!) are a great balance
- TIP: Some couples like to set, or google, a structure of vows that they both love… then they move off to opposite ends of the house and write their vows to this same structure but in THEIR words from the heart; this means that the vows will be very similar in their flow and style but still personal to each other
- When do I need to have them finished? Preferably no later than 48hrs before your ceremony, a week or more before is fantastic! But if you were really wishing to sit down the morning of and write them whilst in the moment… just let me know and I can make that work!
- What if I’m not sure I can hold it together enough to finish saying them at my ceremony? If it takes 5 mins to say your 30 second vows then that’s totally fine, its your day and it shows that it means a LOT to you; always remember that its just you talking to your partner, with a few family and friends eavesdropping on your conversation! (If you think a Microphone in front of you will literally make you go mute, then lets have a side chat about other options of delivery!)
- Do I have to do vows? No…. not at all, there is a sentence that you and your partner must say to make your marriage legal but you most definitely do not need to say personal or custom vows
I ask the people here present to witness that I, XXXXX take you XXXXX, to be my partner for life/husband/wife.
To have and to hold from this day forward
For better or for worse
For richer and for poorer
In sickness and in health,
To love and to cherish
I promise to be faithful to you
Until death parts us
I ask the people here present to witness that I XXX take you XXXX to be my partner for life/husband/wife
I take you as my friend and my love
Beside me and apart from me,
in laughter and in tears,
in conflict and tranquility,
Asking that you be no other than yourself,
Loving what I know of you,
Trusting in what I am yet to learn,
In all the ways that life may find us.
I, XXX, call upon the people here present to witness that I, XXX take you to be my partner for life/husband/wife
My lover and my friend
The one I will live with
Laugh and dream with
A life to be lived with love, honesty and trust
To communicate fully
To care for you and to share all I can
So that we may grow old together as individuals
This is my promise for our life together
I, call upon the persons here present to witness that I xxxx, take you xxxx to be my partner for life/husband/wife
to have and to hold from this day forward for better
or for worse, for richer and for poorer in sickness and in
health, to love and to cherish.
I promise to be faithful to you until death parts us.
I, XXX in the presence of this gathering
Take you XXX to be my partner for life/husband/wife
Secure in the knowledge that you will be my
Constant partner in life and my one true love
On this special day I give to you in the presence of our beloved family and friends,
my sacred promise to stay by your side as your wife
in sickness and health, in joy and in sorrow
As well as through the good and the bad times.
I promise to love you without reservation
To comfort you in times of distress
Encourage you to achieve all of your goals
Laugh with you and cry with you, grow with you in mind and spirit,
Always be open and honest with you
And I will cherish you as long as we both shall live
XXXX I feel so proud to be your partner.
Having you beside me makes me glow.
With all your tenderness, support and strength, knowing I can lean if I need to, makes my fears less.
You have given me so much.
I love your sensitivity, I love your caring nature, I love your enthusiasm.
I love the way you love me, just the way I’ve always wanted to be loved, just as I am
You encourage my personal growth.
You listen and support me as no one else can.
Today, the first day of the rest of our lives, I commit myself to you.
I, XXX call upon the persons here present to witness that I take you XXXX to be my partner for life/husband/wife.
I promise to love you simply and unconditionally.
You’re my best friend.
You’re the first person I see when I wake up and the last person I see before I go to sleep and that alone makes me the happiest person here today.
I, XXXX call upon the persons here present, my family and my friends to witness that I take you XXXX to be my partner for life/husband/wife.
I promise to love you simply and unconditionally.
And whilst I know you ask no more of me, each day your love inspires me to strive even higher
because my love for you knows no bounds
and you deserve only the best and that is what I will give you.